Today started out relatively normal enough. As per usual I did not do my post-tonal theory homework the previous night, so therefore got up at 5 am to do it. First though, since it's Monday, it means I have to weigh in (I'm training for a marathon in May, and every pound I lose makes running just that much easier). Yay, I lost 3 pounds from last week. Be prepared, this is about the only good thing to happen today.
So now, onto the Theory. It took WAY too long. And I still didn't get it right. Test is Wednesday, good luck.
I get to CCM and head up to the my favorite practice floor only to find I left my viola in my locker. This day is going to be GREAT!!!
All this leads to my lesson with Mr. Kawasaki.
(I want to make it clear and legally binding that I am in no way complaining about Mr. Kawasaki or anyone else that may or may not be mentioned. I am just frustrated with the situation in general.)
This lesson was the wildest roller coster ride ever. First, he acts like he's actually kind of happy about my progress. I prepared 2 1/2 mvts of Bach (Sarabande, Bourees I and II, and kind of the Gigue, but I didn't play it cause I didn't have time to finish it over the weekend). So then he talks about my Aspen tape. The first thing he asks is, "Where did I do the recording?" I told him my house in OKC. Then he asked, "did you like your playing?" A very dangerous question. I didn't want to say, "!ell, yes, that's why I sent in the tape," because I felt he was baiting me for a trap of some kind.
He then was wondering why there was a wine bottle in the picture frame of my tape. My reaction to this was a monstrous CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP! I had totally forgot about that. Yes I did know it was there, but only after I had sent the tape in. I had reviewed the tape before I sent it in, but I was so focused on my playing I didn't notice the bottle in the foreground to the right till I watched the video again later that day after I sent it in.
He then goes on to say how unprofessional the whole tape was, and that it looks bad for CCM viola studio and all that. Thanks Mr. K, it's not like I'm 24 years old and grew up watching after school specials or anything. I just sat there in silence. I didn't see a point in defending it. I didn't even explain that I didn't notice until it was too late to do anything until he asked if I had noticed it. He seemed a little more understanding then.
He then talked about how bad the acoustics were and that they made me, "sound very bad." So basically, I'm not going to Aspen this year. Great.
Not to point fingers or anything, which is in reality kind of what I'm about to do, but if I could have had maybe a little more support from my teachers here, not the adjuncts, the people I'm actually paying the tens of thousands of dollars to study with, perhaps we could have worked something out.
I love my lessons with Dr. C and Mr. K, when they happen. I'm just not too happy with the situation here. It's really hard to tell if you're making progress or on the good or naughty list because you end up seeing the adjuncts more than the professors. This also hinders any kind of a relationship you might have normally developed with your private instructor that you would normally see once a week.
It gets really easy to sometimes feel that you can't do anything right by these teachers. They're of such a high caliber, that the way they teach is to not really hand out compliments. I understand that. But come on! It's been almost two years. Throw me a bone! Give me some hope! Other wise I might as well throw in the towel and go back to WSU for a music ed. degree. (I miss my Catherine).
Anyways, what's done is done. All I can do is to try to learn from it all.
Final Thought:
"Success takes perseverance."-Bruce Lee
